let’s talk vag care after delivery

If you happen to be a lucky one, I hate you. just kidding, but not really. =)

I had a third degree tear. It hasn’t been as bad as I thought it was going to be. When I asked her (doc) how bad it was and she told me, I was scared shitless. I’m not sure I mentioned in my other post many details about it, but now I will.

I have no idea how many stiches are/were up there. She didn’t count or tell me. She did tell me that she had to repair my vagina and rectum. ::insert screams here:: The stiches are supposed to dissolve in 7-10 days. Today is day 12. I hope they are gone.

Day 1
The night shift nurse takes me to the bathroom after removing my cathetar to show me what to do. Wow, mesh pants have come a long way since I worked in a nursing home. Anywho, she was very patient, nice and knew my epi was or has already worn off. They wanted to give me percosets for the pain, but from past experiences, I know I can’t function on those bad boys. So I ended up with Tylenol 3.

Back to the toilet…
Inside the mesh pants is a baby’s newborn diaper filled with ice. After peeing, I was to rinse with with warm water, (this peri wash bottle is my best friend right now) pat dry with toilet paper, spray area with Dermoplast and apply witch hazel pads (Tucks) on top of the diaper. This procedure went on for the first day and a half. When I sat up, it was if I was sitting on a bag of rocks, but the coldness was awesome.

Day 2
OK, enough with the ice. I moved onto the long thick maternity pads. These were uncomfortable too. My poor bottom was all messed up. Still doing the procedure. Pee, rinse, dry, spray and apply witch hazel.

At this point, my urine is pretty bloody in the hat they want me to pee in. Kind of scary to look at. And I have to call the nurse every time I pee. Great. They took me to get a sitz bath. that was nice and all, but there was no padding for my back or neck. They really need to work on this.

Today
I’m still doing the procedure plus taking a few showers daily. Gotta keep everything clean. Plus all the warm water feels so good. The man even found me more Dermaplast and witch hazel pads. I didn’t know witch hazel was just an ingrediant used in Tucks pads. Learn something new everyday. He’s been so great throughout all this.

I go back to the doc on Wednesday for my first postpartum visit. I hope to get good news. Sitting is still very painful. Riding in the car is no good either. I’ve only been on the road 3 times. 1 time too many (I’m not getting into that right now).

odd (bfing mentioned)

My left boob produces much more milk than my right boob. Funny thing is, she won’t latch on to the left one. She gets on the right one very quickly, but I don’t think she’s getting anything because I never hear or see her swallow. Such is life.

::keeps pumping::

I’m gonna be an AW for a moment.

10 days past delivery.

my breastfeeding story (so far)

Let me prelude this post by mentioning that I have had a breast reduction. Total nipple removal and reattachment. The surgeon could only tell me that I would have a 50/50 chance at breastfeeding. This was in December of 2002.

Day 1
I haven’t slept in 4 days. As soon as she starts sucking the boob, I have to pull her off. Holy crap that hurts worse than labor. I thought she had a bad latch because it was so painful. The LC came in to see us and told me her latch was great. The LC, myself and baby tried this for another hour and it was so painful I was in tears.

Queue music until hyperventilation takes over. I had no idea it would hurt this bad. I just couldn’t bear the pain. I was in so much distress that it wasn’t doing anyone any good. The LC took a better look-see at my nipples and told me that I seem to have severe nerve damage and too much scar tissue. Because of these two things, my nips are too tight. She does think that I will be able to bf over time. Using the pump can loosen them so it won’t be so painful. When? We have no idea. I stuck my finger in her mouth to feel the suction. Damn, it’s a good thing my fingernail is attached. The LC did the same. We both now understand why it hurts so bad. She even said she has a very powerful suck. I’m not sure whether to be happy or scared about this.

Because of my uncontrollable state of mind, body and soul, she ordered no staff or visitors to my room for 6 hours. The nursery came and took the baby to let her sleep. The only person allowed in my room without my request was my husband. I tried to sleep, but it wasn’t happening. I just wanted to see my girl, but I digressed. He left to get his h1n1 shot and I was alone…again. Just me and my thoughts of “what if I can’t breastfeed?” I cried more and more everytime I thought about it.

That night I started pumping and of course didn’t even get one drop of colostrum. I almost started panicking because the only thing I really knew is that I wanted her to have my milk. Panicking doesn’t help, so I ended up giving her a small amount of formula in hopes of getting something out of me later.

Day 2
Pump pump pump all day long…..
Still nothing. I can’t believe I’m not even getting a drop of colostrum. Being overly emotional about this sucks. Little did I know the nurses at this hospital didn’t know how to communicate. I had to explain my situation over and over again to pretty much everyone that walked in the room.

“Your chart says you are bfing”

::cries again:: mainly because it upsets me that I have to explain my situation to every new shift nurse.

The next time I pump I got 3 drops!!! OMG, I couldn’t believe it. I had the man come and use his finger to take it off my nip and put into her mouth. Weird? Yes. Do I care? No. It was if I had struck oil. It went on like this (only getting drops) for a few days. I talked to my doc and the pediatrician and we all agreed that stressing out over this really isn’t worth it. Stressing causes other hormones that will prevent milk from coming in and baby can feel it too. I have to be strong for her. After all, this is for her.

Today
It’s getting better everyday. We are still pumping and she’s taking it like a champ. I try everyday to put her to the breast, but it’s still so painful. It was very slow going at first, but now we are up to about a bottle nipple’s worth of milk at each pump session and getting more everyday. This might be TMI – but I get crazy excited when lefty starts squirting milk when I pump. Righty still hasn’t done that yet.

That’s all for now. Hopefully, next bfing post will be more exciting.

induction

2:30pm Wednesday, 11/11/2009
We arrived at the hospital, get checked in and all is good. They put the IV in and the baby and contraction monitors on. I’m having regular contractions, but not feeling very many of them. I’m thinking to myself, “that was a contraction? hmmph, who knew?” It wasn’t hurting at all.

4:oopm
Started the pitocin. It was upped every 30 minutes. My bp was getting checked every 15 minutes and of course I was up peeing every 30 minutes.

7:00pm
Dialated to 3 cm. The good doctor broke my water. That was interesting. Now I can feel those pesky contractions. The nurses kept asking me when I wanted the epi. They said, no one gets a prize for being in the most pain. lolz

I only lasted 2 and a half hours through them. Much too painful.

9:30pm
The anesthesiologist comes in to give me the epidural. He had to do it twice because the first one didn’t take. Ouch. Not gonna lie, that was was pretty painful. About a half hour later I started feeling nauseous. My bp dropped to 86/48. Uh oh, time for ephedrine. That seemed to regulate my bp, but now it was getting taken every 5 minutes and annoying the piss out of me.

11:30pm
Um, P my dear, you are 9.5cms dilated. Holy crap, this is reallly going to happen whether I like it or not. The doctor was called. I can feel the contractions as pressure down stairs, but it wasn’t bad at all. I started shaking and they said that was a normal side effect of the epidural.

12:30am Thursday, 11/12/2009
Time to start pushing. They tried to get me to do 4 sets of pushes through each contraction. I tried my best, but was only giving them 3. My sinuses were acting up that day and it felt like I was going to bust my ear drums out through every push. They can already see the head and the man said he could see hair. Pushing was exhausting.

In between contractions, we were all shooting the breeze. Laughing, telling stories, I was actually having a great time. No pain what-so-ever. Doc thinks after the next 3-4 contractions, baby will be out.

1:32am
Sure enough, after 3 more, her head came out. Once the doc got a shoulder out, she just slipped out the rest of the way. They put her on my chest and I was instantly in love. She was covered in blood and amniotic fluid, but oddly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. They took her away to clean her up. The man took the camera to get all the good shots.

I’m not paying much attention what was going on with my factory becuse I’m looking at all the hubbub going on around the baby. Then I felt something else come out. That was sort of disgusting. The placenta. Then the doc and the nurse were holding all these shiny tools and I felt pulling. They were stiching me up. I asked how many and she didn’t want to say. She said that she wasn’t even going to count. =( I had a 3rd degree tear. She had to repair my rectum and vagina. Thank the good lord for epidurals. To this day, I still haven’t looked.

All in all, I have to say that I had a pretty easy labor. The induction couldn’t have gone any better. For that, I am very lucky.

last weekly appointment

11:30am – Wednesday 11/11/2009

Little did I know last Wednesday would be my last weekly appointment. It was not a good day. I was in a lot of pain and I didn’t sleep much the night before (or pretty much the last 4 days). We did all the normal things like piac, weight and bp before seeing the doctor. OMG, my bp had sky-rocketed compared to my normal. Normal blood pressure for me is 110/60. That day it went up to 158/98. The nurse actually went and got someone else to take it just to be sure.

I kind of knew in the back of my mind that this was it. This was the beginning of the end of my pregnancy. So of course I started crying. I’m crying right now thinking about it. =)

I go into the room and the doc is in there before I get my pants off. She sees me crying, looks at my stats and does her thing. She told me I was 2 cm dilated, 80% effaced and 0 station.

Before she had her glove off, she asked me what my plans were for this evening. I said, “with any luck, having a baby.” She said it’s time. She couldn’t send me home knowing how much pain I was in. Then she said, “I’m kind of glad you blood pressure was high. This gives me the go-ahead to send you in.”

Here we go!!

So much to say

And no time to say it.  I need to start somewhere.

Last Wednesday was my weekly appointment.  I decided to take some pics before I left since I actually put on regular clothes.

38w5d

I’m done

Let me start this with how much I have loved being pregnant.   I love having someone with me 24/7.  There has never been the fear of being alone.  I talk to her as if she can comprehend.  I’ve learned her patterns and how she responds to some things that I do.  The love I feel for this baby is almost over whelming at times.  Everytime I hear her little heartbeat I cry. 

All that being said, I had no idea how hard it was going to be at the end.  I remember being that lady that said she would do anything to feel miserable, just to be pregnant.  Up until the past few weeks, I’ve welcomed all the sleepless nights, heartburn, backaches, constant trips to the bathroom, etc…  But now, I’m not good at being miserable.  The constant pain is just too much.  It’s only getting worse. 

A  few weeks ago I was taken off of work due to pain and pressure in my pelvis and swelling.  The swelling has mostly subsided since I’m able to put my feet up during the day.  But the pelvic pain is bad, very bad.  As of today it’s extremely painful to walk.  We went to BRU tonight and I almost ended up in tears.  Walking was my only saving grace.  It’s was the one thing I could do that didn’t hurt. 

It’s even too painful to go to bed.  If getting in and out of bed isn’t painful and hard enough, just laying on my side is torture.  Tonight, I went to bed and immediately started crying it hurt so bad.  My husband is frustrated because there isn’t really anything he can do.  He’s been great throughout this whole pregnancy. 

I have another appointment tomorrow.  I need to know what my options are.  If there hasn’t been any progress, I may just break down.  For the last two weeks, I’ve done all the old wives tales to get this labor started except the castor oil.  That scares me.  Spicy foods, squats, sex, long walks, etc…  You name it, it’s been done.  I’m done.

another appt today

Not much is going on in there.   Still 1 cm dilated.  Her term was “a loose 1 cn, so almost 2″.  Still 80% effaced.  The only progress made is she has dropped a little more into the pelvis to a 0 station.   

Warning – TMI!  I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t like internals.  I want to know what’s going on in there, but they are really uncomfortable, make me very crampy and make me bleed for 1-2 days.  Right now, I’m sitting in my recliner and I can feel the blood leaking out.  Then I get nervous and run to the bathroom to make sure my water hasn’t broken.  Ugh. 

Something that pissed me off: A lady, her SO and a 2 month old baby are checking out/scheduling next visit.  She asked me how far along I was and then told me she was pg with #2 already.  Normally, I wouldn’t give a crap, but she had fucking food stamps peeping out of her purse.  Nice.  Thanks bitch.  I know where my tax dollars are going.

full-term today!!

Woot!

37 weeks

off of work!!!

Today was my weekly.  They gave me my H1N1 shot then took me back to the exam room.  I mentioned to the nurse that I was in extreme discomfort while sitting.  So of course, it took the doc longer than normal to get into the room.  I was miserable and in tears by the time she came in. 

So she did her normal thing.  Baby is measuring right on time (37 weeks) and heart rate is perfect.  Then she went in for the internal (owowowow).  I’m still at 1cm, 80% efaced and 0 station.  However, she stripped my membranes while she was in there. 

I have a short torso and there is no more room for baby.  She can tell that the pressure on my pelvis is very painful and since I’m full term, she sees no problem if I go into labor.  So she just started the process that might move things along. 

Then she wrote an order to take me off of work immediately.  You don’t even know how this makes me feel.  For the past few days, I’ve not slept.  Sitting up straight is pretty much impossible and agonizing.  Driving sucks.  Being off of work, I don’t have to stress about getting a good night’s sleep.  I can lay down whenever I want.  I don’t have to drive or sit at a desk. 

Relief.

36w6d

had to call the doc

I haven’t slept since Sunday night.  My ears hurt, have a headache and my heart is racing.  I was almost half way to work when I called the boss and he talked me into turning around and go back home.

The triage nurse (whom I love love love) told me that this start of fall season has reeked havoc on their 3rd Tri patients.  They’ve had many complaints about sinus pressure.   She recommended sudafed and tylenol.  The headache is probably associated with the pressure and my racing heart/not sleeping is normal at this stage.

Annnnnnnd I had contractions last night.  Woot!!  In the middle of the night mind you.  I got out of bed and went to the basement to lay in my recliner, hoping it would help me sleep and then bam!  They were mild and probably BHs since they were erratic and not really timeable, but now I know what to expect.  They have since gone away. 

Next appointment is tomorrow.

36w5d

internal #2

1 cm dilated and -1 station, (station pic below).  Of course I’m bleeding and cramping now.  But I do like progress!

weeklies

That’s what I’m calling them.  The once a week invasion into the other side.  And since my cervix sucks ass (we’ve been over this in past posts) I get to bleed and cramp more than normal folk.  Yay!  That means I’m winning. 

Last week’s progress had nothing to write home about, cervix just slightly thinning.  Monday night I had red spotting for no apparent reason.  Could be the beginning of losing the plug.  Also my hands have been super swollen.  More than normal.  Usually, they start un-swelling around 10am or so.  Yesterday, they never did. 

I go back today and will tell her about my hands. 

Today’s pics:

35w5d

“another month”

So I’m at work, in the bathroom, washing my hands and an instructor walks in and this is how the scholarly dicussion goes.

Her: “How much longer?”

Me:  ”Another month”

Her: “Ooh a Christmas baby”

Me: “No, a Thanksgiving baby, we are in October”

Her: “Oh yah, I always forget about November”

Me: blank stare

33 week belly

33w5d

doc appointment today

Today was another 2 week appointment.  I am still in denial about how fast this pregnancy has gone by.  At this point, I can’t imagine life without her inside me wiggling around.   The doc said that was normal and even she felt “alone” after having her children. 

I have one more 2 week appointment on 10/15 (35 weeks).  This will be my first internal pelvic exam.  Then we move on to weekly appointments.  Ahhhhhhh!!

We also talked about positioning.  At night when I’m lounging in my recliner she’s usually very active.  You can see the belly shape move and get distorted.  I had no clue if what I was seeing move was her head or her butt.  The doc thinks her butt is bleow my right breast, making her head down and legs under left breast.  I haven’t felt any painful rib kicks as of yet, but I’m sure those are coming. 

No weight gain in the last two weeks and bp is 110/70.  She is measuring perfectly at 33 weeks.

Target registry

I’m gonna have to give it a thumbs up. 

We registered online and made sure the items were available in the store.  Every so often when we were out and about, we would stop at Target just to see what they had available and I updated the registry accordingly.  One of my friends even called and asked some questions about some bath items and warned me about what one particular Target was offering. 

I’ve heard that their return policies were kind of hairy, so I made sure everything that needed to be returned was added to the registry.  There were several items given to us at the shower that were duplicates and even more things that we didn’t need.  Most of those were clothes that were completely the wrong season. 

Well, we went yesterday to return all stuff and ended up with about $200 to spend on things we still needed.  It felt good to get those things off the list.

So, all in all, I had a great experience at Target.

um, who’s Megan?

There was a card in the mail yesterday (hand delivered) from our neighbors.  How they knew it was our anniversary yesterday is still a mystery.  We don’t know them very wel  at all.  The weird thing is the card said: “husband’s name and Megan”.  LOL

Thanks neighbors that we don’t know that well, we do appreciate the sentiment.  But if you are going to hand out Happy Anniversary cards, get the names right.

shower was yesterday!

I am just amazed at the generosity of our friends and family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My sister-in-law made the cake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Over the past few months, I have been taking bibs, onesies, hats and blankets to my mom’s house for her to use as decor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got to see some friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. Seriously, too long. I hope it’s not that long until I see them again.

Latest pics of my bump. 31w2d

hormonal breakdowns

It came on with no warning, that’s why I think it was hormonal. Nothing triggered it. No one pissed me off. I didn’t stub my toe. Just a good old-fashion breakdown.

It was the craziest thing. I was making dinner last night and about to slice up some velveeta for the broccoli casserole and just started crying. Out of no where. The man thought something was wrong and I ended up laughing. WTF??

Ten minutes later I was in horrible pain. My back hurt so bad, I was almost in tears. I couldn’t stand, couldn’t sit, couldn’t walk, nothing. Then I remember reading that you can stretch your back by holding onto the tops of doorways. So I tried that and I could barely reach the frames with my fingertips on my tiptoes. Ugh. Then I leaned over the counter and just like the turn of a switch, it disappeared. Gone. It was very odd.

31 weeks today

vma awards

Just my quick 2 cents.

Tribute to Michael Jackson: love
Russell Brand’s pants: dude – I can tell what Religion you are.
Lady Gaga: seriously, wtf?
Kanye West: bad form, glad you got kicked out.
Beyonce: love
K Stew’s hair: love

NEW MOON TRAILER:  ::dies::

first package

I remember before the wedding, we would come home almost everyday and there would be a package on our front porch. Our friends and family were so generous.

Well, today, the Target Fairy visited our house. I was kind of confused because I hadn’t ordered anything. So I opened the box and to my surprise was a few things off the registry from my sister-in-law! She can’t make it to the shower since she lives 5 hours away and is also due to have their 3rd baby in 4 weeks. xoxoxo

Here’s what we got:

I won’t be displaying every gift we get in the future, but this was the first one and it goes with the nursery decor. =)

if only

I had a dream last night that I just pushed her out with no problems, pain or discomfort. Yah right. Nothing in my life has ever been that easy. Ever.

The funny thing is I saw her. She was so beautiful. I wonder if she will look like that when I do get to meet her.

My baby girl. I love saying that and can’t get enough of it.

28 weeks

and so it begins

We signed up for some classes today. I booked a breast feeding class and the man registered for a “new dads only” class. We both signed up for two in depth informational classes about birth and newborns. Hopefully we’ll get into them. They are free from the hospital that we are delivering at, but fill up fast.

We also started operation “It’s Already Ready Already”. Today, I made a few batches of Pesto Pasta Chicken Bake. One for tonight’s dinner and leftovers and 2 smaller batches for future dinners. I can’t tell you how many people have told me to go to those places where you can cook a bunch of dinners ahead of time and freeze. So we decided to go ahead and start this process.

27w4d

last day in 2nd trimester

Well, that flew by.

Went to the doc yesterday. I can’t believe my last two visits to her have been scheduled. Meaning, I didn’t have to go in between yesterday’s appointment and the previous one unplanned. Woot! Did the glucose test. It wasn’t as bad as I have heard. It was orange, cold and I downed it in seconds to not prolong the inevitable. Not sure when the results come in for that.

Last checkup, she was measuring 2 weeks ahead. Yesterday she is measuring just one week ahead. Silly growth spurts. Although, this makes me very happy she’s not getting too big too fast.

Now I start going to the doc every 2 weeks.

busy day

There was a yardsale down the street today. I/we never go to yardsales. Well, they said it was a multi-family one and it was close, so I got up at the buttcrack of dawn to check it out. I have a collection of Little Golden Books (mostly Disney), so that’s what I look for.

I found a Scooby Doo one!! The Haunted Carnival for 5 cents. What a bargain.

Then we cleaned my side of the garage. Filled up 2 garbage cans. We plan on putting some (not wire) storage shelves that will actually hold all our crap soon, so this is prep work.

Then we moved the man’s desk and computer into the office. His was out in the basement in the main room. We decided we needed that space soon for a pack-n-play. Later on down the road, it will be her play area. So, now we put a bookshelf there that hold odds and ends. Sooner or later, it will hold more fundtional things we need for baby. Then I’m sure it will turn into toy storage.

I took a picture today from my view. I’ve lost the sight of my feet when standing straight up and looking straight down.

26w1d

25 weeks!

Holy crap! I’m 25 weeks pregnant. Who would have ever thought that me, pmarie, would be 25 weeks pregnant? I remember that time in my life when I didn’t even want kids. That seems like so long ago. For the past two and a half years, having a baby is all I’ve thought about.

25weeks

it’s v-day!

I am shockingly 24 weeks pregnant today. Supposedly the baby has a chance of survival outside the womb if the worst were to happen at this point. I’d rather my little hiccupper bake for much longer.

Not much new to report. The doc took me off of the Metformin in the last visit. She wants to see if I really need it anymore. I’ll be off of it for a month by the time my glucose test comes around so we’ll see.

Some updated nursery pics:

bored bored bored

Since the kind doc put me on restricted activity, I’ve lost my mind to boredom. Seriously, my mind is numb. Normally this time of year, I’m outside doing the landscaping, pruning bushes, pulling weeds, making sure everything looks just right. Now – nada. My yard looks like crap because I refuse to dictate to the man how to do it. He can pull weeds and such, but he doesn’t get the whole weed. Don’t even get me started on that.

His garden looks like crap because he refuses to pinch off the shutes in the tomato plants. Now his plants are growing wide and not tall.

There are still tulip and lily remains in the beds. I can’t even look at the line of hostas along the back of the house. It’s terrifying.

I was able to get in a few potted plants before the latest fiasco. Those are surrounded with viney things that are getting out of control. So I shall just keep on ignoring the fact that my last 2 years of hard work on this house has gone to shit.

This past weekend was unseasonably cool. So he did get out to the back yard and was able to get rid of most of the weeds, but he has no clue what’s a weed and what’s a legit plant. This cracks me up. Today, you bet I’ll be going out there at least with some weed spray and let him add mulch.

Next appointment is Wednesday.

And what a huge difference the last two weeks have made! 22w2d

should have known (maybe tmi)

It was too easy until the last few weeks. I take stool softeners every night before bed. Normally it works fine. Recently, they have started failing me. In the last two weeks, the only thing that has helped, less a diet consisting of only apples, brocolli and cardboard cereal, is Starbucks.

I want my cheese. I need my cheese….and chocolate…..and peanut butter.

Until now I haven’t had a problem. After three days, I consider it a problem. This is going to be an expensive (but tasty) solution.

Target can suck it

Last week, I found a certain crib on Target.com that I fell in love with. In the description, it said it can be found in stores. Awesome! I put in my zip code and it shows limited availability in about 5 stores near me.

I go to Target today to see it in person and absolutely loved it. It’s the Canton 4-in-1 Convertible Crib by Delta. Here’s a pic.

Of course they didn’t have one there we could buy and take home. Why would they? I’m not that lucky. They were nice enough to check the other stores to see if there was one in my city.

None. Not one store had one in stock I even had them check the two biggest cities closest to me and they were no-goes. They sold out in early June. OK now I’m pissed. Not only do they have it advertised on-line that it can be found in select stores, but these stores have it on display and you can’t buy it. For over a month they have been sold out, but still have it on disply? Are you kidding me? They are forcing you to pay another $90 in shipping. I was so mad and the manager couldn’t figure out why they still had it on display. She was very sorry or a good actress, not sure which.

So when we got home, I went back to searching and found this one. It’s a Simplicity Providence 4-in-1 Crib.

It got great reviews and they didn’t charge tax or shipping! Now we wait. It should be noted that this one did NOT come from Target.

it’s a girl!!!

We went into the ultrasound appointment already knowing it was a boy. We were already convinced. So much so, that we have really only talked about boy names.

When the tech moved into a certain position, I saw the 3 lines right away. Excitedly, I pointed to the monitor and asked the tech, “Are those what I think they are? Are those 3 lines?” My husband was lost. The tech said, “Yep, wow that was easy.” Then she got a great money shot.

I’m pretty sure this was right about the time it all became a reality to my husband. Before this, he hasn’t had any type of interaction. He finally got to see his little girl for the first time in real time. Pictures just don’t do it justice. He got to see her move, hiccup and the most important sound to us right now, he got to hear the heartbeat.

Here are some more pictures that they took. Fingers, toes and a nice profile shot.

so excited

and so very nervous at the same time. Excited to see Tiny again and nervous to find out exactly what is inside me. Tomorrow is the big day. This will be my husband’s first viewing. Maybe I’m nervous to see his reaction. I don’t know. It is all still very overwhelming.

I catch myself looking at the big stuff (stroller, pack and play, car seats, etc…) and end up just closing the window because thinking about getting gender neutral stuff isn’t working.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

20w3d

I really need to go back to using my camera instead of my phone for these pics. Terrible quality.

wow

My husband’s grandmother passed away last month. We went to the storage unit yesterday to look at some of the things she still had in her last apartment. My MIL really wanted us to have these two cherry wood dressers.

I’m still in shock because it all happened so fast. He called me yesterday around noon to meet him at the unit at 6pm. When I got home from pool, this is how I found the nursery.

This has just saved us hundreds of dollars in nursery furniture that wouldn’t even come close to this quality.

juice

So far, I’ve found that baby likes all kinds of juice. I will down a glass of juice just I can feel it kick.

kicks: apple, grape, cranberry, orange and apple white grape
no kicks: v8 fusion

it’s not fair

he says.

He thinks it’s not fair that I get to feel the baby kick and he doesn’t. Sure pal, that isn’t the only thing that I get to experience. If you want to feel the kicks, then you should also get to feel everything, mkay?

Don’t make me make you a list. I’ll do it. I double dog dare you to say that to me again.

follow-up doc visit

Went to the doc again yesterday. They did an ultrasound to measure the cervix and make sure the placenta is okay. Cervix is 3.5cm and closed. Placenta is fine as well.

While the tech had me in the room, she did a heart rate check on the sleeping baby and it was 147. She did let me take a peak since s/he had it’s back to me. The big ultrasound is on 7/7 and since the man wasn’t there, I didn’t want to acidentally catch a glimpse.

The doc still can’t explain why my cervix sucks ass and bleeds all the time, but she did say everything looks great. She put me on pelvic rest and minimal activity until I can go 3 days in a row without bleeding or spotting. Yah right. We’ll see about that.

19w

interesting

The lady I spoke of below (did the uninvited tummy rub) knows my doctor. She also knows my previous doctor who got booted from the practice. Nice. She has nothing but good words for my current doc and understands why I’m glad the previous doc is gone.

I work with this very nice lady. In fact, I went to grade school with her daughter (this was discovered Monday). It turns out, she is an ex-L&D nurse. I guess that’s why she was so excited to hear about my pregnancy.

um, excuse me

but that’s my belly and my personal space.

It’s a good thing I like this lady, cause if not, she would have gotten a totally different reaction out of me.

I went to the breakroom to get some ice. The container was empty. I don’t like it when the container is empty. Someone mentioned that there was some in the conference room. So I went over there. There were people in line to grab sandwiches, brownies, fruit and drinks. Free food is the best food.

Not too long after I walk in, this lady says “let the pregnant one get some fruit”. There was also a pregnant woman in front of me. Of course she told the lady that I was pg too. That’s when she came over and felt my (still-not-so-noticeable) belly and squeeeeeed in joy.

Since when is it ok to do this? Especially if there’s not much there to feel. I can understand wanting to feel it if the pg woman says “Want to feel the baby kick?”, but not at my stage.

Oh, and the ice bucket was empty. I did get a brownie and some fruit out of the deal.

unscheduled doc visit

Cramping and spotting started yesterday. Google scared the bejeezles out of me, so I called today and they had me come in. My regular doc was in delivery so I saw one of her partners. This one is about to pop anyday now and she was also headed to the hospital to make a delivery, but stayed to see me.

She let me hear the heartbeat for just a second. Long enough to let me know everything was fine, but too short for my liking. I could listen to that noise all day.

Then she wanted me to get an US to check the placenta and measure my cervix, but wanted me to wait there for another 1.5 hours to get the US. Normally, I would have, but she didn’t seem concerned at all and I needed to get back to work. She insisted that I have one this week to measure the cervix. That will be on Thursday.

The spotting turned from pink to brown between yesterday and today. Turns out I have a little yeast in my cervical fluid and she wants to treat that with Terazol. I’m so sick of these cervical issues scaring the crap out of me. The official word is that I have a “delicate cervix”.

It still doesn’t explain the cramping. She thinks I’m constipated. I say I’m not since I had two good ones yesterday.

felt the baby

for the first time on Monday night. It felt like a little bubble popping. So I immediately put my hand down there and felt it again. It was so awesome. I may have felt this in the last few weeks but couldn’t be sure. Now I’m positive.

There are three of us at work that are pregnant. We are each five weeks apart. It’s nice knowing I’m not the only one going to get big. I often wonder if there is anyone here going through infertility that hate us right now.

It’s getting harder to twist and bend.

18w

houston, we have a pooch

It’s a small one, but it’s there.

Had my monthly check-up today. The doc is very pleased with the progress. My uterus has moved up. There was a lot of movement heard during the doppler. She even said she could feel it moving around while holding the wand. ::cries:: I still haven’t felt anything that I can definitely say was baby.

In the last week, I’ve had to unbutton certain pants and shorts in order to be comfortable while sitting. Standing and walking are still no problem. It’s only a matter of time now. Last week, I bought some maternity capris to last me throught the summer.

Dropped another pound. Next appointment is in 4 weeks. Big ultrasound is in 5 weeks. OMG!

15w5d

i hate lazy people

Seriously, it takes 10 seconds to change your password and you get 14 freaking days to do it. How hard is it? Apparently it’s rocket science to my users.

I get calls all day long from those that “don’t have time to mess with that”. Well, for your information, I don’t have time for calls like this from people like you.

I especially love the voicemails left on my work phone on Friday afternoons at 5:05pm crying because they have forgotten their password or let it expire and are desperate to get into their e-mail. On Monday morning, depending on who it is, I may or may not make them wait longer.

Bottom line – be nice to your IT department.

confession session

I still can’t believe I’m pregnant.
I still wouldn’t believe it if it weren’t for the ultrasounds and dopplers.
I still don’t have a pooch. That’s OK, I know it will show sooner or later.

At first, I complained a lot. The back pain, boob pain, nausea, heartburn, constipation and constant trips to the bathroom during the night were super annoying. Now, I welcome them with open arms as those are the only things keeping me aware of this pregnancy.

So far, I’m still down in the weight department. Last check was negative 4 pounds. The doc isn’t worried, so neither am I.

14w2d

we decided

that we will find out the sex. However, we won’t be telling anyone. It will be our little secret. We also decided to come up with a gender neutral name to call it until s/he is born.

This is going to be really hard.

::off to find a name::

13w4d

nt scan today

The tech tried and tried to get some measurements on the little one, but it just didn’t want to cooperate very much. She did get two out of three shots that she needed.

S/he was asleep when we first saw it. After a few minutes it woke up and it wouldn’t be still at all. The tech was able to get a few good shots for me to bring home. All in all, I spent about 20 minutes watching my baby this morning. What a way to start the day.

12w6d

13w0d

don’t look at me

I’m not an attention whore IRL. I’m the one that wouldn’t tell anyone I was pregnant until I absolutely had to. The only day I wanted to ever be the center of attention was my wedding day.

Today was one of those days that you see extended family for the first time since they heard the news (which they didn’t hear from us). We went to a graduation party and most of the attention went to me. I didn’t like that at all and felt bad about it.

I’m going to invest in a t-shirt that says the following:

Yes we are going to find out what the sex is.
The name will be kept a secret.
We are due on November 20.
I feel fine.

12w1d

160

That’s today’s heart rate of baby. I love that sound. Today was my regular monthly checkup. She says everything looks good. We scheduled the NT scan for next Thursday. I can’t wait to see the little one again.

11w5d

two bras

Yep, that’s what is the most comfortable now. Back in 2002 I had a breast reduction. I bought some pull over bras that held the bandages in place, but weren’t tight or supportive at all. Now, my regular bras hurt. I must go shopping. Until then I’m wearing my pull overs under my regular bras. OMG, heaven. Seriously. Had I known they would feel like this, I would have done this 6 weeks ago.